So 2015 is chock full of plans already. And I'm freaking out. My comfort zone is being threatened in many ways. And as excited as I am for each adventure, each chance to grow without a normal life event, there is a definite air of nervousness. My heart is being challenged. Bottom line, I'm kind of a mess! lol I think we've already established that though.... And all of this stress is making me want to run in the wrong direction. I want to run towards what I think will calm and comfort me when I ought to be running to the Lord and resting in Him. The part that scares me the most though is that He might not do what I think He should do! Think I have a trust problem?? lol So amidst all of this stress and craziness I read a verse in Daniel today. Actually it was just three words, "But if not...". It's when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are being threatened with the fiery furnace if they won't bow down to the idol. They state that God can deliver them...if He chooses to...then they say, "But if not..." they still won't bow down. Because God is still God. Right is still right. And He is still good no matter what He does, not matter what we think He should do.
But if not....if He doesn't keep me from the fire...if He doesn't take away the pain...if He doesn't make things easier...if He doesn't give me what I think I want...if He doesn't ____....but if not. I will still love Him. I will still serve Him.
But if not....those three words have had a physical effect on my heart today. But hopefully...prayerfully...it's the effect I need to gird up and step forward in faith.