Church

I have a thought for you. You have cancer. It is killing you. You have treatments twice a week. You want to be healed. And if you go to treatments you will be healed. But....you've missed one treatment every week for the past two months. You need a break this week so you're going to skip a treatment. The Dr told you to do something you didn't like so you're going to miss this next treatment. You need some time with your family so you miss a treatment. A nurse said something that hurt your feelings so you miss another treatment. And after all of that, you're really overwhelmed with life and so you're gonna skip this one too. And on...and on...and on...then all of the sudden it's a year or more down the road and you've barely been to half of your treatments and you're upset that you still aren't healed...in fact the cancer is worse...and you can't figure out why. 

Salvation is by grace alone but God gave us church for a reason. So go. And not just now and then or when you feel like it. But so much the MORE as life gets harder and harder. 

#Hebrews1025 #readit #liveit

Servant

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

It's not about me. It's not about what I want. It's not about how I feel. It's not about my rights. It's not about what someone said about me. It's not how so and so looked at me. It's not about who is right and who is wrong. It's not about who is doing better. It's not about who isn't talking to who. It's not about "I just don't like them". It's not about am I'm good enough. It's not about the job. Its not about how you're being treated. It's not about my friends. It's not about defending myself. It's not about saying whatever I want. It's not about having a good time. It's not about taking care of me. It's not about books, movies, games, Facebook. It's not about what color I am. It's not about who likes me. It's not about am I happy. It's not about a car, a house, or a boat. It's not about that special girl/boy. It's not about money. It's not about you. 

It's about souls. It's about serving Him. It's about surrendering your will to His. It's about being nice even when they aren't. It's about being willing to be used but never loved. It's about loving even when you aren't being loved. It's about how I use my lips, my hands, my feet, my knees. It's about prayer. It's about loving the unlovable and the lovable. It's about going the extra mile. It's about not being effected by the petty stuff. It's about obeying. It's about giving my enemy my coat when they're cold. It's about spending my money, my time on what's important. It's about being a servant. It's about doing it for Him. It's about truth. It's about the Word. It's about I'm not good enough but He loves and saved me anyway. It's about having compassion. It's about loving Him enough to get rid of what can even be called good cuz it isn't good for me. It's about being uncomfortable. It's about speaking the truth in love. It's about interceding. It's about always being willing to be used. For others. It's about him. It's about her. It's about Christ. It's not about me. 

What is my life about. Is it about Him? Cuz if it's not, it's about nothing. 

And THAT is what He has been reminding me of lately and what I will always be learning. 

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face...

1 Corinthians 13:12

Hey...remember me??

I have really been wanting to get back into blogging but kept waiting for the "perfect" subject/thought/whatever. I've finally decided I just have to do it! Each day is special and holds millions of moments that are shareable. So I chose today and snow :-)

Today we got over a foot of snow (it was up to the swings in the back yard!!!) That's the most we've had in seven years I'm pretty sure. Needless to say I had a snow day! :-D A couple people in my house did NOT grab the opportunity to be "trapped" at home and insisted (I live with such stubborn people!) on going out for various (not really that important) reasons ;-) But I drank in every moment at home sitting around watching movies, talking to friends online, laughing with my dad as he ventured forth into the snow, cleaned some, made mashed potatoes and chicken noodle soup (what else do you make on a snow day??), and then ended the evening with three rounds of Scattergories (of which I won none....) with my Daddy and brother :-) It was a wonderful day; and because I could not choose just one photo of the snow (or the day's activities) I'll share a bunch :-P

How's that for a "welcome back into my life" day/post? :-)

Oh! I started the snow day last night by making snow cream! The fun never ends :-)

Canada! It was pretty amazing...

Two weeks ago today I had no idea that I was starting one of the most amazing weeks of my life. The phrase "The time of my life" took on a whole new meaning.
Okay, back story. I turned the big 3-0 on December 23rd. My sweet baby brother had, much earlier in the year, begun work on a huge surprise. He put into play a plan to send me to Canada to meet my friend of 11 years, Jackie. Jackie and I actually met online and became the modern day version of pen pals (which did actually include some snail mail too!) and over the years, sharing many of life's ups and downs, we became fast friends. I tell people all of the time that I truly believe the Lord gave her to me. Well we've talked for years about meeting "someday" but that someday continued to elude us. Until January 12, 2015. Aside from the amazingness of actually, finally meeting her it was a crazy adventure in and of itself. I hadn't flown since a very young child, virtually no memory of it, so it was essentially my first time flying. And I was doing it alone! lol I told one of my piano students at one point when discussing his overseas trip with his dad that at least he had his dad with him, I had to pretend to be an adult! Haha The anticipation and foreignness of it really was what was killing. Turns out I love flying 😋 I just told a friend last night (when discussing my trip for about the 100th time) that I don't understand how someone can come away from a flight not believing in the Lord. The whole experience is so amazing. It's secluding in a way like few other experiences so that it's really just you and Him up there. And even if you love it there's still a little bit of fear lol Which leads to more communication with the Lord. At one point too, the first time we took off, I was just in awe of how much of the world you could see at a glance. I was so, so far above everything that was going on below. And it occurred to me that that's the way it is with the Lord. Everything feels so big in our world. Interactions with people. Life moments. Incidents. And there are times when I fear that the Lord maybe can't see it all, can't keep up on everything, doesn't really know everything that's going on, and then I start trying to help Him 😕 I know. I'm crazy. But I was very strongly reminded from my window seat as I saw a lot more below me than just my own small part of the world that that's how it is with the Lord. He sees the whole picture. He sees two people who are about to collide worlds. He sees the before and after of each little incident. He sees it all. And I need to remember that. So yeah, I got off the plane closer to the Lord than when I got on. It was pretty amazing.
Okay, I will try to speed this up instead of going day by day ... since I was gone for 6 days ... lol
Meeting Jackie and her lovely family was amazing. It was like meeting your best friend for the first time but you are already best friends 😊 I'd told my sister for years that I felt that Jackie and I was as close as we could be without meeting. So we filled each moment with all of the little bits of us that we'd never talked about or shared or asked. We filled in as many of the holes that we could. And I think we did a pretty good job too lol We stayed up late each night without fail. Tired or not! Haha We were limited on time and we felt it. But, it was still amazing 😊
We saw the sites, Lynde Shores, downtown Toronto, the Eaton Center, Ardenes (which I love!!!), country stores, dollar stores, Tim Hortons, and of course we had to go to Starbucks once. 😊 Something else we'd always talked about "someday". And it was amazing too. We sat and talked for over an hour and it was great. Filled in a few more of those little holes. Then there was Niagara Falls. Wow. Awesome doesn't describe it. To be completely honest, when I was younger I felt it was very cliché and I didn't care about seeing it. But the older I've gotten the greater the desire to see it. And those who had been already and tried to describe it to me could not have prepared me for the awesome beauty. The roar you can hear long before you even get to the observation deck. The mist that fills the sky above the falls. The dark, emerald green of the water. The size of it! It was so beautiful. And then I would take two steps to my right or left and it was like seeing a whole new falls! haha Needless to say I took ... a bunch of pictures.
All of the sites were amazing but the people were the best part. Of course meeting Jackie for real finally. And she still liked me! Ha! Yes, I actually had a moment of fear where I thought maybe she wouldn't like me in person. 😋 I got over it quickly. 😉 Her adorable, sweet, so cute (oops, handsome. Sorry, Jedi 😉 ) children. They were each so special and I didn't have half enough time to get to know them the way I would have loved to. I got to meet a good friend of Jackie's at church which was so exciting. I had heard so much about her and had such respect for her already that we hit it off instantly and I think maybe we could have talked an afternoon away had you given us a chance. I also got to me Jackie's family. Love her mama. She reminded me so much of my mama. Still a mama, even to her grown children 😊 Oh and when she talked about the light switches at church I knew I'd found a fellow servant 😉 Had a great time hanging out with Jackie's sister one afternoon. It was so much fun to see the kids mess around with her. And I had the pleasure of meeting a fellow pianist/piano teacher! Might not seem like much but in my small part of the world I don't get to do that very often. The two hours we had weren't enough to fully explore styles and techniques like I'd hoped.
The whole trip ... oops! I left out Scott. Dear. Ornery. Scott. Haha He, just like everyone else, exceeded my expectations. His love for the Lord and His work and His people is exciting to see and his whole family was like that.
As I was saying, the whole trip was a perfect balance of sights and fellowship. It was an experience that I couldn't have prepared for. That I had no way of imagining how amazing it would be. My home-body trepidations were quickly scattered into the wind and I was only constantly mesmerized by the whole experience each moment of each day. I am beyond thankful to my family and friends who made it all possible. I was unbelievably, undeservedly blessed. And even with saying all of that I feel like it's just a drop in the bucket! But, if I continue I'll just have to write a book. 😊 So I'll just leave you there. 😊

 

I'll post more amazing pics on Facebook ☺️

But If Not....

So 2015 is chock full of plans already. And I'm freaking out. My comfort zone is being threatened in many ways. And as excited as I am for each adventure, each chance to grow without a normal life event, there is a definite air of nervousness. My heart is being challenged. Bottom line, I'm kind of a mess! lol I think we've already established that though.... And all of this stress is making me want to run in the wrong direction. I want to run towards what I think will calm and comfort me when I ought to be running to the Lord and resting in Him. The part that scares me the most though is that He might not do what I think He should do! Think I have a trust problem?? lol So amidst all of this stress and craziness I read a verse in Daniel today. Actually it was just three words, "But if not...". It's when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are being threatened with the fiery furnace if they won't bow down to the idol. They state that God can deliver them...if He chooses to...then they say, "But if not..." they still won't bow down. Because God is still God. Right is still right. And He is still good no matter what He does, not matter what we think He should do.

But if not....if He doesn't keep me from the fire...if He doesn't take away the pain...if He doesn't make things easier...if He doesn't give me what I think I want...if He doesn't ____....but if not. I will still love Him. I will still serve Him.

But if not....those three words have had a physical effect on my heart today. But hopefully...prayerfully...it's the effect I need to gird up and step forward in faith. 

Another Year...Another Decade!

It's one o'clock in the morning so my birthday is officially over. This was a big one. At approximately eight o'clock this morning I left the twenties forever and joined the thirty club. It's been ... exciting. LoL I've been on and off freaking out about this for some time now...about two years. lol And now it's here. 

I'm not completely freaked out though. There's a part of me that's truly excited. I'm proud of thirty. Thankful to be here. I've worked hard for thirty! My twenties were hard. There were some crazy highs but some dark lows too. They were, in many ways, easier than my teens but still brought their own share of life lessons. And I didn't always learn them gracefully or easily. I worked. I fought. I failed. I learned. I dealt. I stumbled. I grew. 

I think the hardest part about thirty, the part that freaked me out a little bit, is that my social status isn't what I thought it would be at thirty. Married. Husband. Children. Ya know... But what's a social status? Just that. And it actually holds no bearing on my value. My value lies in Christ and He loved me enough to die for me. My position isn't what I thought it would be. Instead it's Auntie to a handful of amazing nieces. It's servant and co-laborer of the Lord. It's Miss Sarah to a bunch of bouncing babies in my church nursery. It's youth worker to some of the craziest, awesomest teens in North Platte (or anywhere!). And those are just brief descriptions of some of the most fulfilling moments of my life. Is thirty what I thought it would be? No. But it's what God thought it would be and that's better than any plan I could have conceived of. And now I can't wait to see what He has in store for the thirties! :-)

Nap time!

Two days a week I am a full time-stay at home auntie. While I help out with my nieces the other days of the week these two days are "my" days to take care of the girls while mama is working and going to school. I love my nieces more than anyone will ever know. They are the light, pride, and joys of my life and mean more to me than my own life. And boy do they know how to wear me out! LoL I'm getting what I believe to be a small taste of motherhood....and it's as tiring as it is amazing! Take nap time for example....

Stayed up late so when 1 year old is bright eyed and yelling before 8, I'm not. I get up anyway though cuz that's what you do (and if I don't then she'll be waking up 4 year old before she's done with her beauty sleep!). We eat, shower, and play and before long 4 year old is up. I'm being held together by prayer and praise music at this point though I'm still managing to be productive! One year old morning naps. Back up and now it's after noon and nap time again! Babies are sleeping so time for a cat nap for me too! But even though I was exhausted moments before, as soon as four eyes are closed in sleep....mine pop open and will NOT stay closed! What is it about those moments that are so enticing??? Suddenly I feel as if I can do anything! The possibilities are endless! I could work on that baby blanket that I want done by Sat (and isn't even close to done); I could do the dishes without baby girl hands pulling out all of the Tupperware; I could read my Bible without stopping a catastrophe every other word; I could mop the floor which hasn't been done in ....... a while; I could bake something yummy; I could pick up the living room and just sit in it's cleaness; I could be insanely idle and watch an auntie show; I could pick up a book for the first time in months; I could finish getting dressed! I contemplate the many tempting options.....and decide to blog about it all instead. Haha! But time those moments will be over soon and then I'll be cuddling, feeding, changing, and saving sweet girls from eating/doing something they shouldn't so I'm gonna go do one or two of those things on that list real quick! Enjoy your moments today!

The One Thing I Know

These days I don't know anything. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to NOT think/say/do! I don't know how all of this is going to work out. Or if it's going to. I don't know my right from my left. I don't know what He's doing. Or why He's doing it. I don't know if I'll be able to last another day. I just don't know. But the one thing I do know is Romans 8:28: "And we KNOW that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." I KNOW that if I'll just follow Him, one baby step at a time, it WILL all work out. And this one thing I know is enough to get me through all of the 101 things that I don't know.

Just say No??

So like most women out there, I have a very hard time saying no to people. Friends, family, enemies....lol If you ask me to do something, I feel morally obligated to say yes. But that's finally starting to change. I'm realizing it's healthy and good (GOOD??) to say no sometimes! Yes, I believe the Bible when it says, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." but I'm realizing that it is FALSE to believe that that means I have to always say yes. It does say "also" on the things of others. So there are times when I need to and can say no. And believe it or not, I do! Every once in awhile. ;-) Like last Saturday? I had committed to do some freezing and such with my mom but then was asked to help out a girlfriend in my church. I was so torn! To tears! lol Yes, I am one of those emotional women lol But then it suddenly became clear, I had made a previous commitment. So I couldn't do the requested task. Case closed! Amazing how simple it is sometimes.....lol
So, just a little reminder that you don't have to meet every bodies needs. You can't! That's God's job. And yes, sometimes He does that through us. But sometimes He does it through someone else. Let them be/get a blessing too ;-)

Her Messiness - That's Me!

"Life is the messy bits". This is one of my all time favorite quotes. So when I was trying to decide what to call my new blog and what to talk about in it, this seemed to be the obvious answer.

We all have our own version of how our perfect life should be. I do! And I'm finding that it's anything but that. LoL 

My perfect life was marry my perfect man, be a perfect wife, have perfect kids, be a perfect mom, have a perfect life! News flash....it didn't happen that way lol Instead.... I am the full time pianist at my church(which means services, choir, ladies ensemble, ladies quartet, funerals, and everything in between that someone might need...I should be practicing right now...), nursery coordinator of our booming nursery (you'd be surprised at the issues I have to mediate there-I need to have another meeting soon...), part of the janitorial team, full time youth worker (which means helping plan, prepare, and pull off weekly events and more), part time photographer (though I am a cameraless photographer at the moment....need to get on that), piano teacher (my piano really, REALLY needs tuning), in home volunteer (not even going to elaborate on what's been going on there), full time auntie to my two adorable, wonderful, ornery, live in nieces (closest thing to parenting I've experienced and it has taught me. A lot.), stay at home daughter who can NOT keep the kitchen clean for a household of nine (no matter how hard I try!), sister, daughter, friend, and still waiting for the Lord to point out my Mr Right. Yeah....I think that covers the high points! And like most women, even though I truly love every part of this, I feel like a failure on a lot of it.....a lot of the time. 

So this is me. Me learning how to love the messy bits. Me learning IN the messy bits. Me seeing if that was a spider I felt in my bed....okay, no! We're good! LoL Me learning to take life one messy bit at a time. Me learning that my life isn't perfect....it's better than any perfect I could have imagined.

So ...... do you wanna join in my messiness?

Yummy!

I love trying new recipes! Especially when they work lol I cooked with eggplant for the first time ever today. Made eggplant with lasagna. It turned out really yummy! And healthy too! Now I know what to do with eggplant when someone gives to me :-P 

"So May I Pray"

Meet my current frenemy

I'm working on a handful of pieces for my church choir but this is the one we are doing next so I've been focusing on it. Most of the time I love it-it's a really pretty piece! And I'm loving the challenge all of these new pieces have been for me. But sometimes, on certains parts of it, I hate it. LoL 

Oh well, I always tell my students if it isn't hard then you aren't learning anything! ;-)

He Leadeth Me

When God uses your piano students practice piece to remind you that He's there. 

Just a pic

Don't really have much to say today...not that there's nothing on my mind...just nothing to share right now. Looking forward to getting recharged at church tonight. Happy Wednesday, ya'll. ☺

Frost on my windshield this morning.

Thanks, Pinterest!

I'll just let you in on the secret right off...I'm not actually thankful to Pinterest at this moment! LoL This is the email I received from them this morning...

Rude, right???? 

For those who don't know me as well...I would very much like to get married. The problem is that the Lord has yet to decide that it's time for me to get married! LoL So here I sit, living an amazing life but still very much desiring marriage. Then I check my email and this is in it! Cruel, Pinterest. Just cruel. 

Not even sure why they decided I might need this....oh well. Back to my Monday!

Babies > anything else :-)

Here is what most of my day looked like:

Did some overdue photo editing most of the day. But! In the middle I got to go meet an adorable little man :-)

Man, God knew what He was doing when He started us as babies. There is nothing sweeter than a one day old infant in your arms. I drank him in.

What was your day like?

Eek!

A sight that sends chills down my back...

I cleaned out my phone finally. Had over 1,000 pics on my phone lol But now I don't have any and it kinda hurts.... :-(

On a completely separate topic, I'm babysitting my nieces (one 3 yr old and one 4 yr old) for about 12 hours today. Think I'll be sane by the end of the night? :-P 

Nah, they're little stinkers but I love 'em :-)

Thankful

I am so thankful for this fact. Though saved by grace, I still have my daily struggles, and every now and then something comes along that is really, really hard to resist. And instead of girding my loins, tapping into the strength of the One who created the universe, and resisting I begin to weaken and consider giving in this time. Last year was a rough one for me, I almost choice my own path instead of the Lord's concerning a deep desire of my heart. But thankfully (praise the Lord!) I took the U-turn and I'm back on the Lord's path. The feeling of peace is so reassuring. I am so thankful for His goodness.

"...the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance.." Romans 2:4

Chef Sarah

Well I might not be an actual schooled chef but I do love to cook and try new things. Pinch of this. A dash of the. Sniff. Taste. A little more of this. Mmmm! Perfection! 

Okay...maybe it doesn't always work out this beautifully...lol Oh well.

So tonight I'm playing with lentils for the first time. We ate them a lot for a time when I was a child but haven't since. There was a bag in the cupboard and I had no idea what I was gonna make for supper so I decided to have fun. A dash of this. A pinch of that. We'll see how it turns out! :-)

I just don't know if I can wait!!! LoL

Update:

It's delicious!!!!! Even though I wasn't able to let them cook quite as long as they maybe needed. Will definitely make again :-)

I just wanna blog!!!!!

Why does it have to be so hard!!! I have an iPhone, for Pete's sake! It takes beautiful pictures and then I can blog it right from my phone! *Sigh* Well....I'm at the beginning of a new year...yet again (funny how it rolls around about the same time every year...) so maybe...just maybe...I'll create a new habit. Habitual blogging! :-) 

Only time will tell...